Quote of the Day (2015-05-26)

Zathras: Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life... probably have very sad death, but at least there is symmetry.

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2015-05-25)

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2015-05-24)

Jerry: "What else did you two do?"

Elaine: "Oh, you know, girly stuff."

Jerry: "So, uh, flower shows, shopping for pretty bows, then back to her place, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight."

Elaine: "That's really what you think girls do, isn't it?"

Jerry: "Yes, I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-23)

Jerry: "I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."

Kramer: "Really?"

Jerry: "We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."

Kramer: "So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"

Jerry: "Yes, we did."

Kramer: "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."

Jerry: "There isn't?"

Kramer: "Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."

Jerry: "I can?"

Kramer: "Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"

Jerry: "What?"

Kramer: "You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"

Jerry: "Boy."

Kramer: "It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."

Jerry: "I'm glad we had this talk."

Kramer: "Oh, you have no idea."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-22)

Mrs. Griffith: I'm the guidance counselor; I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2015-05-21)

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-05-20)

[In California]

Annie Hall: It's so clean out here.

Alvy Singer: That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

Source: Annie Hall

Quote of the Day (2015-05-19)

Olive Penderghast: Due to his "condition," Micah was sent on an extended visit to his grandparents' in Palatka, Florida. And if there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2015-05-18)

Bernard Woolley: "Now, may I just have your approval for this Local Government Allowances Amendment Number 2 for this year's regulations."

Jim Hacker: "What is it?"

Bernard Woolley: "It is a Statutory Instrument to be laid before the House. As Minister responsible for local government we need you to authorize that the revised Paragraph 5 of Number 2 Regulations 1971 shall come into operation on March the 18th next, revoking Regulation 7 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulations 1954(b)."

Jim Hacker: "What the hell does all that mean?"

Bernard Woolley: "It is all right, there is an explanatory note, Minister. These Regulations are to make provisions for prescribing the amount of attendance and financial loss allowances payable to the members of local authorities. Explanatory note: Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1971 ("the 1971 regulations") substituted a new regulation for Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations. Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1972 ("the 1972 regulations") further made amends Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations by increasing the maximum rates of attendance and financial loss allowances. Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations revoked both regulation 3 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations, Regulation 5 being a regulation revoking earlier spent regulations with the effect from 1st April next. These regulations preserve Regulations 2 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations by revoking Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations.

Jim Hacker: "And that's an explanatory note???"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-05-17)

Jerry: "I thought you said people dressed up when they go to the opera?"

Kramer: "People do. I don't."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-16)

Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, who is it who has the last word about the government of Britain? The British Cabinet or the American President?"

Sir Humphrey: "You know that is a fascinating question. We often discuss it."

Jim Hacker: "And what conclusion have you arrived at?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I must admit to be a bit of a heretic. I think it is the British Cabinet. But I know I am in the minority.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-05-15)

Homer: It's true, I'm a rageoholic! I just can't get enough RAGEOHOL!

[cries]

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-05-14)

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.

Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...

Gale: Shut up!

Feisty Hayseed: Okay then.

Gale: Everybody down on the ground!

Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.

Gale: Better still to get down there.

Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya?

[Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows]

Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?

Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.

Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2015-05-13)

Homer: "To start, press any key." Where's the "Any" key?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-05-12)

Sally: And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.

Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-05-11)

Carol: F*****g H.M.O. b*****d pieces of s**t!

Beverly Connelly: Carol!

Carol: Sorry.

Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2015-05-10)

"I don't like the opera. What are they singing for? Who sings? You got something to say, say it."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-09)

I had my dream again, where I'm making love and the Olympic judges are watching. I've nailed the compulsories so this is it, the finals. I got a nine eight from the Canadian, a perfect ten from the ! American, and my mother disguised as a East German judge gave me a five six. Must've been the dismount.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-05-08)

Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!

Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!

Brian: Now, f*** off!

[silence]

Arthur: How shall we f*** off, O Lord?

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2015-05-07)

"Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable. I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat... It's often wrong."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-06)

Señor Sanchez: I cannot understand. If I'm a married man, it is my problem. What has it got to do with you? I would not be prejudiced if you were married.

Source: Cactus Flower

Quote of the Day (2015-05-05)

FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!

HERBERT: What, the curtains?

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-05-04)

Ronnie: Okay, stop it. Everybody that you are mentioning looks like an old woman now. You're just mentioning a bunch of Jessica Tandys. Keith Richards gets away with it, but that's because Keith Richards looked 70 when he was 40. And now that he's 70 he looks 69. He's regenerating.

Source: This Is 40

Quote of the Day (2015-05-03)

GALAHAD: They're doctors?!

ZOOT: Uh, they've had a basic medical training, yes.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-05-01)

Tom: I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral